Repentance.  Regardless of how we set boundaries (always with the help of biblical counsel), we must remain in a posture of repentance ourselves.  Just as our toxic friends are subject to evil’s influence, so are we.  David’s friends helped him evaluate the motives of his heart.  And David acknowledged that he had “prepared” (better than [...]

Perspective.   By the Spirit’s guidance, David was able to distinguish between Saul’s actions and Saul’s person.  That is, he recognized that Saul, whom he called “the Lord’s anointed,” did evil when an evil spirit came on him (1 Sa. 18:10, 11).  While Saul acted in evil ways, he was not evil personified; only the devil [...]

Hope The second perspective necessary for loving a toxic person redemptively is hope. Hope of course is the assurance that God will heal us and all things in the future eschaton (Ro. 8:18-25). Psalm 57 is full of hope. David knew that God had a purpose for him personally and it will be accomplished (vs. [...]

Validation The first thing each of us needs is to know truth. We need to know if what we are feeling is true or false. Just because we feel like we are being wronged does not mean we are. One reason the Bible prescribes that we take another person with us to meet with someone [...]

Recently I have been meeting by phone with a counselor. Yes, counselors need biblical and pastoral counsel too so I am grateful for wise brothers skilled in Scripture and relational matters to whom I can turn when I need direction. Specifically I needed guidance for dealing with a situation that was eating me up emotionally. [...]